Our Lovely Rita

Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers over the past three years. It gave Rita the courage she needed to fight. You all showed her so much love, carving a place for her in your hearts that she can forever call home.

Please know that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Even on her worst days, she had a smile for me to warm my soul. It was truly a gift to celebrate three more birthdays, watch Joey go from 6th grade to high school, and travel to a few more bucket list destinations with Rita by my side. We were also able to bring Rita's parents back to the US for a final in-person goodbye. Those three years felt like a lifetime with memories I'll hold on to forever.

I would like to thank all of my children and their spouses for being there for us. I'm blessed to have had them during both the good and bad times to support both Rita and me as we overcame countless sleepless nights, hospital visits, and difficult conversations.

Thank you for following along on Rita’s journey. Though she is no longer physically with us, she'll always be by our side, in spirit, smiling with us. Because of Rita, we all will make it through and continue to live life in her memory.

The eulogy that was read at Rita's funeral is below, as well as two songs I wrote for both her and my son Joey. With this, we will close the Blog and wish you all the best going forward.

Take care,

John

Songs:

Destination Back Home:

https://open.spotify.com/track/6aWKva99DG25E3O3GCZqyI?si=b49ae5ac9ab24841

Don't Look Down (Music composition and Piano by Rafel Alcalde):

https://open.spotify.com/track/7EZq4DFJen8f7Aafshf2ZM?si=4a422a8cbd204026 Eulogy: Our Lovely Rita. Read by John Fodera Jr.

Before I get started, on behalf of our family and Rita’s family back home, I just want to thank everyone for gathering here today and for all the kind and loving words shared over this past week. We knew how important Rita was to us and our family, but to see how many lives she’s touched has been heartwarming. We also want to thank all the doctors, nurses, and staff at St. Peter’s for helping Rita throughout her illness.

Rita’s story is one of bravery and determination, and it didn’t begin with her diagnosis. While her physical journey on Earth may have ended here, it began across the world in Baotou, China, with her loving parents and sister and a large family of aunts, uncles, and cousins. As a little girl, she was determined to excel in school, which later presented many career opportunities. When Rita’s career brought her to the United States, she bravely left behind her extended network of family and friends and came to a country where she knew no one, and look at the beautiful life she created here.

___________________

It’s hard to sum up such a presence in a few words. But if I had to choose one to describe Rita, it’s generous. Rita would give you the shirt off her back, no questions asked. Or, more appropriately, her designer handbag, if you mentioned that you liked it. And she’d never expect–or want–anything in return. It wasn’t just material things. Rita was generous with her time. Even in the middle of her fight with cancer, Rita was always the first to volunteer to lend a helping hand if she was able. I am sure many of us, if not all, can recall a time when Rita went above and beyond for us.

Another word to describe Rita is genuine. When it came to her relationships, she didn’t do superficial and she wasn’t a fan of sugarcoating. If you were Rita’s friend, she let you in fully. She was always honest and thoughtful with her feelings and what was happening in her life. She was a breath of fresh air simply by being herself.

____________________

Rita filled her life with trips all over the world, lots of time in the Florida sun, at Lake George, and, most importantly, spending quality time with family. She had some pretty successful roles throughout her career, but nothing compared to the role of being a mother. When she married my father, she gained three stepchildren in me, my brother Michael and my sister Alexandra. But to her, we were just her children – there was no “step.” She showered us with unconditional love and support without hesitation or reservation. She was not only our mother, she was also our friend.

As much as she loved us–and she did, fully and completely–we could not compete with her love for her son, our younger brother, Joey. And everyone who knows Rita knows this. When Joey was born, our family was complete. Joey somehow managed to make Rita’s smile even bigger, and she was so proud to be his mom.

Rita was also a grandmother (Meme). Meme loved her four grandchildren, and we are so incredibly thankful that she was able to meet the three newest additions to our family. While her four grandchildren did not have much time with her, we know she gave them enough love to last a lifetime.

Rita loved a loud house filled with the chaos of family coming together. She loved the laughter, the banter, the messy kitchen, the sound of feet running around. Of all the places Rita had visited in the world, that was her happy place - at home, with her family. This past week, we’ve had a full house, and we’ve spent much of the time gathered around the kitchen table, laughing, crying, bantering, and creating a lot of noise. It’s exactly what we needed and exactly what Rita would have wanted.

When I think of Rita, I am met with her radiant smile and the sound of her laugh. I can see it at the baseball fields cheering on Joey’s team. I can picture it at G.E. making everyone’s workday brighter. I hear it at the kitchen table over a meal and then later on during a game of Rummikub. And I remember it on her last day on Earth. Over the course of three years, Rita endured over 60 chemo treatments, multiple surgeries, and too many restless nights to count. And yet, she continued to smile. Cancer took many things from Rita, but it could never dim her smile. It was too bright.

_______________

To the “Baseball Moms,” thank you for cheering on Rita. We all know that Rita loved putting on her baseball cap and spending hours at the baseball field. No matter how she was feeling, she would always try to make the games. And when she couldn’t, she’d be watching intently and passionately on her phone. Oftentimes, she’d be more up-to-date on the score or the inning, even though we were the ones at the game.

To the neighbors, thank you for showing up and providing support for her and our family. I hope you always remember Rita walking the neighborhood (or riding her exercise bike) with that pep in her step and Ernie by her side.

To her GE family, thank you for being just that–family. Rita would always reminisce on her first day at the GE office in Schenectady. It was in March, the weather was cold, damp, and gray … and she resolved that she would not be staying any longer than her assignment. Lucky for us, she did find a reason to stick around, and she absolutely loved every single day spent at that office and the friendships that transcended it.

To our family–my brother and sister, our significant others, our cousins, aunts, uncles. Thank you for always loving and supporting Rita.

And last but certainly not least, Dad, Joey, and Ernie: Her three favorite boys. Though you could, at times, drive her crazy, she was crazy about you. Ernie, thank you for being Rita’s constant companion and cuddle buddy. Joey, you brought your mom so much happiness. You were her world and her reason for living. She could not have fought so hard without you. Dad, thank you for everything you did for Rita and for this family. In addition to being Rita’s caregiver, you remained her loving husband and held down the fort for all of us. You showed us what it means to stick together through thick and thin–and we will always remember your dedication to this family.

Thank you all for loving Rita and for being part of her beautiful life. And to our Lovely Rita, thank you for showing us how to be brave. Thank you for being so determined to live so that we all could have more time with you. More smiles. We promise to stick together to make memories over family trips and quality time. And we promise to keep the house loud and filled with chaos until we meet again.